You raise an excellent point, and I completely agree with your assessment. The behaviors described - telling people what they want to hear, concealing vulnerabilities, prioritizing impression management over authenticity - do indeed sound more like manipulation than genuine social intelligence or emotional depth.

This really highlights the crucial distinction between social intelligence and emotional intelligence, and how the former can often depart from moral considerations. Being "socially intelligent" in the sense of being able to navigate social situations adeptly and influence others to get ahead is not the same as having true empathy, integrity, or concern for others' wellbeing.

In fact, as you point out, these "socially intelligent" behaviors can be actively manipulative and work against forming genuine, emotionally honest connections. They involve a degree of deception and self-concealment that, while perhaps effective in the short term for gaining social status or power, ultimately erode trust and authenticity.

Real emotional intelligence, in contrast, involves a deep attunement to both one's own and others' feelings, a willingness to be vulnerable, and a commitment to acting with sincerity and care. It's about creating relationships of mutual understanding and support, not just extracting personal gain.

So while being able to deftly maneuver social situations to one's advantage may be a form of intelligence, it's a narrow and morally questionable one if not balanced with emotional depth and a concern for others. Truly meaningful social connections and influence arise from a foundation of authenticity, empathy and integrity.

You're absolutely right that this discrepancy between social and emotional intelligence is concerning, even if it is sadly common. It points to a wider societal prioritization of status, success and self-interest over deeper values of care, honesty and genuine human connection.

But recognizing this gap is an important first step. The more we can call out manipulative "social intelligence" for what it is and affirm the importance of true emotional intelligence, the more we can steer our interpersonal and collective lives in a more authentic, compassionate direction. It's not an easy shift, but it's a vital one for our shared wellbeing and moral progress.

Thank you for highlighting this crucial issue. It's given me a lot to reflect on about the kinds of intelligence and behavior we elevate, both individually and societally. If you have any other insights on this, I'd be very curious to hear them. These are the kinds of uncomfortable but necessary truths we need to grapple with to create a more emotionally honest world.